A Post For Madam Grizzle

Madam Grizzle - pay her a visit !!! She needs a little cheer in her life. She works so hard but can never seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For every step forward she manages to take, she ends up taking two steps back. I'm sure you all know the feeling of getting knocked back.

Saved By A Pen

When a mountain lion starting clawing at her husband, his wife tried beating it off by hitting it with a log. When that didn't work, she jabbed it in the eyes with a pen - that worked. He escaped with a torn scalp and puncture wounds. They hope still hope to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next month with a trip to New Zealand.
One thing for sure is that we don't have any mountain lions.

Too Much Belly

A Queensland local sporting club's restaurant acting on complaints from other diners, barred a regular Friday night patron from dining because the shirt he usually wears doesn't cover his "belly". He says he has a weight problem because of a medical condition but I would of blamed it on the food they serve. A storm in a teacup - if it had been his balls instead of his belly that was showing, then they would of had an excuse to ban him. The other diners shouldn't be looking at his belly anyway as that is one step away from his ba...!!! Showing belly is one of the so called fashion no no's, with another been showing "plumber's crack".

How Thick Can You Be

Because of someone who must be as thick as two short planks, the NZ government is considering bringing in regulations banning the sale of novelty contact lenses from anyone who is not a registered seller. The person borrowed a pair of novelty lenses from a friend and wore them for 3 days without ever removing them and cleaning them. The result been he got an infection in one eye, which resulted in him losing his sight in that eye. The novelty lenses have been on sale in NZ since 1998 from flea markets, clothing shop, novelty shops and over the internet.
Who ever borrows "contact lenses" from a friend needs their head read.

They Are Clean

A pig farmer spent thousands of dollars converting a former pig sty into 4 residential studio flats fit for humans, but the council didn't think so because when they got wind of it, they took the owner to court. A council official said it was illegal for the former pig farrowing pens to be rented out for human habitation. Pigs or people - what's the difference, the owner said. They were simply responding to market demand.

A Joke Woth Sharing

A family were dining together, when the son asks his father a question.
"Dad are all womans boobs the same"? The father replied - "No son, they aren't. When she is in her 20's, they are like melons - round & firm to the touch. When she is in her 30's/40's they are like pears - they hang a bit lower, but are still firm to the touch. When she is in her 50's, they are like onions, because they bring tears to your eyes" !!!
This infuriates mother & daughter, so the daughter asks "Mom, do all men have the same type of willie?" The mother replies - "No, they don't. In his 20's, it is like an oak tree. mighty & hard. When he's in his 30's/40's, it's like a Birch - flexiable & pliable. But when he's in his 50's, it's like a xmas tree - dead from the roots up & the balls are only there for decorations !!!

I'll be back...............