Sunday, November 19, 2006

# 916.

Mind Your Language

When you on a flight, especially to Singapore it pays to watch your language. Not your only your "p's & q's", but also your "b's" because it can end up costing you dearly as one Australian man found out. He uttered a 4 letter "b" word on a flight which reulted in him been hauled into court and been fined S$10,000 !!! The "b" word which he uttered when he found plenty of space in the overhead lockers - "Where do you keep the BOMB" ???

Snappy Luggage

A man on a flight home from Cambodia to the Philippines, when asked if he had anything to declare, said that he had some live fish in his hand-luggage. But he forget to mention that the live fish, were inside the three half metre crocodiles that were also in his hand luggage. Think of the panic it would of caused if the croc's had managed to get loose in the plane. It would of given a whole new meaning food !!!

Blonde Or What ???

She would of had to have been as thick as the steak she pinched !!! A young woman was caught on camera shoplifting from a butcher's shop but the butcher was having none of that in his shop. So he posted a "photograph" of the woman in the window of the shop, with the heading "This Weeks Winner" - step inside and claim your prize !!! Low & behold the young woman fronts up to claim her prize. They keep her waiting for her prize, which turned out to be pair of handcuffs supplied by the local police who arrived to "meat" her.

He Was One Button Short Of A Full Remote

In fact he didn't have a remote for the TV, so he decided to return to the house where he pinched the TV from. While the person whose house he had burgled was down at the local police reporting the theft, he returned to the house. Alert neighbours phoned the police who caught the man with the remote !!!

A Present For Willie !!!

Something I am sure "Willie" would appreciate as it can get a little cold sometimes down under !!!

A Couple Of Jokes !!!

A blonde joke that is so..............well this was the only place for it. (Don't shot the messenger)

A blonde went to her doctor to get some birth control pills. The doctor gave her some and the following week, she was back again for more. She said to the doctor that she needed "bigger" pills. The doctor said, you mean stronger, don't you. She said no !!! I want them bigger, because they keep falling out.

The fire brigade was called out to a small fire at a church. After the fire was put out, the priest invited the firemen to have a cup of tea & something to eat. As they were all standing around talking, one fireman decided he would tell a joke - a rude one at that !!! The priest waited until he had finished and said to him, "Son, you fight fires in this life and you will be fighting fires in your next life' !!!

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